tellytubby101: (ZOMBIES!!!)
tellytubby101 ([personal profile] tellytubby101) wrote2011-11-30 12:52 am
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these are the things keeping me up at night

I was just thinking, what would aliens think if they ever happened to listen to the English language?

Because I say "shit" and "crap" a lot, you know, when I screw something up (drop something, trip, burn myself or spill something, etc.). I also say "what the fuck" quite a bit. My part of Australia is pretty relaxed about swear words - to be fair, I live in a pretty bogan area - but would aliens know about that? If they only had a limited time to study what is admittedly a very complicated, convoluted language, would they be able to realise the context?

Or would they think humans have a very strange and constant fascination with bodily discharge and reproduction/coupling? "Shit, mate, that's the fucking balls!" is one such example of how colloquial English could confuse any eavesdropping extraterrestrial beings. "Holy shit" or "Holy crap" may even make them think we worship it.

I would image that the report would read something like, "Humans seem very comfortable with mentioning excrement in the middle of conversations or even moments of heightened pleasure / high-energy (i.e. sex, fighting) without prompt or explanation." And if they run a scan to double check, they might come across scat, watersports, etc.

In short: I really hope if we're visited by aliens they can understand sarcasm/tones/context of language. Also, that they don't invade and enslave humanity.

[identity profile] unjaundiced.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
With luck, they will attempt to enslave us in the wrong manner. Possibly by attempting to take hostage a porta-potty/porta-loo.

[identity profile] tellytubby101.livejournal.com 2011-11-30 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
Now I'm having terrible mental images of booby-trapped portable toilets popping up around everywhere. OH DEAR GOD, THE HUMANITY.

[identity profile] unjaundiced.livejournal.com 2011-11-30 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
HOLD IT IN! THEY CAN'T WIN IF YOU DON'T USE THEM!

[identity profile] fantomeq.livejournal.com 2011-11-30 03:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Every once in a while I have the passing desire to enslave humanity. This may be related to having semantic pragmatic language issues. *Ponders*